We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
