my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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