is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
