I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
