We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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