dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
