eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want her autograph on my taint
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
