I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize