he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize