I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We named our party play list daddy issues
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
