i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
