Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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