i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
