Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
