At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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