Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize