I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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