it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize