He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
