I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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