i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
