Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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