i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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