No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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