we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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