It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
