I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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