That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
