dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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