Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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