there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
