do herpes really smell.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
