direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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