I want to stick my p in your. b.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
