just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
