Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
