I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
