I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
