just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
