I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
