just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
