I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
