every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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