he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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