Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
