Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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