The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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