What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
