Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
