I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize