His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
