It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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