Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
