Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the day after is always just damage control
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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