tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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