the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
